Archive for January, 2010

15
Jan
10

Douchebag archetypes–Douches and tools

This is a douchebag:

This is a tool:

Any questions?

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13
Jan
10

Douchebag archetypes–The Female Douchebag

You see them at Melrose. They frequent every ¬†high end store in the city. Their skin is fried to a Kentucky crisp and if it isn’t, it’s discolored by orange globs of fake tan. Their interests are devoted to what’s hot and what’s not, and have little to bring to the conversation beyond the realm of fashion. Attention is their daily bread and, drama, their craft…and not the theatrical kind. “What a douchebag,” is the only natural response.

Wait. Hold on. We’re talking about women though, not men. Isn’t it gender specific?

Yes and no. While the derogative originally evolved to describe arrogant men with attention seeking sociopathic and antisocial tendencies, this isn’t to say that women don’t have their engendered counterparts.

Women engage in practices of vanity all the time. You see it in how they apply make-up and the time spent on their hair. It’s just both socially acceptable and expected in this case. At least when it isn’t exagerrated.

An over-inflated and vocalized sense of self worth is the key ingredient in douchebaggery. Female douchebags, (let’s call them douchettes), won’t shut up about how hot they are. The chances are that if a man opts for a different girl than her, she’ll say, “I’m much hotter than her!” Looks are everything to a douchette. Things such as a personality, mutual interests, and tastes are just frosting on the shallow cake.

"I'm so hot."

While most women will spend a half-hour titivating themselves at most, the douchette will spend more than two hours getting ready. They’ll to go to even more extreme measures to look good like sloppily enhancing their breasts. This only makes sense from their perspective, since appearances are everything.

No Make-up, No Life.

Remember that girl in high school who wouldn’t go out with you because you weren’t popular enough? That was a douchette. While aesthetic superficiality may be one of their key interests, prestige is another. This translates in a variety of ways. Most douchettes will only date men from a certain occupation, university, or paycheck. They’re essentially romantic elitists who fail to live up to their own standards.

As mentioned in previous posts, the douchebag is a criticism of male patriarchy. This is one of the reasons why feminists embrace its concept despite how sexist the term originally is in which it derives from. It’s understandable that they’d be outraged if its directed towards women, rather than men, as other sexist derogatives are. It’s understandable, but the slang definition is still appropriate.

The reason being is that much like douchebags, douchettes are also a product of male patriarchy. The attention paid to their personal appearance is an example of this, just to an overblown degree. Feminists complain about the cosmetic “mutilation” expected by men and douchettes are very much a paragon of this. Like douchebags, douchettes are in every way a threat to the feminist ideology.

This is merely a small definition to the douchette archetype. There are plenty of trends, appearances, and fashion statements to address and mock in future entries.